Tricks and Tips

Saturday, December 21, 2013

The Family Fiasco

     It appears that even the holiday spirit cannot stop my family from fighting. Perhaps bickering is genetic and symptoms are easily triggered in moments of happiness and joy. It certainly would explain a lot. 

     It started off just a couple of days ago. I had returned home from a long day of fencing and work only to discover my mother's cousin Ila sitting down in my grandpa's and great aunt's apartment downstairs. My mom was very surprised to see her. I guess Ila had made an unexpected guest appearance. I ignored my mother's anger and shock and hugged Ila (I haven't seen the woman in ages) and then I headed upstairs to start my assignment for honors English that my teacher had sprung on us that morning. That's when the yelling started.

     I could hear the two of them through three flights of stairs. Their words were muffled nonetheless, but they were screaming their asses off at each other. I rolled my eyes and tried to concentrate, but it's extremely hard to compose a three page story about World War II that demonstrates irony with two 50-year-olds creating enough noise to rouse the neighbors. Their bickering went on for (no joke) 30 minutes until Ila decided to leave. Then my mother proceeded to scream at my mentally unstable Aunt Fran.

     Ila had come over (6 days before Christmas nonetheless) to invite my 90-something year old, crippled Aunt Fran to their house fro Christmas. Unknowingly, my Aunt Fran agreed to go, and my mother basically threw the world's largest hissy fit in an effort to secure my aunt's prescence at our table for Christmas Day. It didn't work. Currently, my aunt is going over to Ila's and my mother is red with anger if anyone so much as mentions Christmas.

     Even though she's being COMPLETELY dramatic, I understand where my mom is coming from. She has dedicated basically her entire life to serving Aunt Fran and making sure the woman is happy, healthy, and safe. That's a big deal. Ila, on the other hand, has not so much as lifted a finger in order to help Aunt Fran. She never visits, never calls, never even sends happy birthday cards in the mail. Ila really doesn't show up at all. She's not even close to being as big of a part of my Aunt Fran's life as my mom is, and it really pisses her off that Aunt Fran wanted to spend the holiday with Ila instead of with my mother and I. I don't blame my mother for being angry with Ila; my problem is that she's angry with Aunt Fran. 

     Aunt Fran is not mentally stable. At all. She forgets who she is, where she is, and who the people around her are. When Ila was leaving, she thought that I was leaving with them and told me to give her "one last kiss" because I wouldn't be seeing her for quite some time, even though I've been living with her for more than 5 years. Yes, she did agree with going to Ila's home for Christmas, but that doesn't give my mother the right to be pissed at her! Fran doesn't have a clue who anyone is, she can't make up her mind who she wants to spend Christmas with. 

     Fran sees my mother and I every single day. She NEVER gets to see Ila and Ila's family. Obviously, she's going to want to see the family members who haven't visited in a while. Also, before Aunt Fran moved in with us, she basically LIVED with Ila and Ila's family. She misses her old life, which is COMPLETELY understandable. Just because she chooses to spend Christmas with other family members doesn't mean she loves us any less. My mother can't wrap her head around that fact. She thinks my aunt is ungrateful, selfish, and rude, even though she's anything but. Honestly, the selfish one here is probably my mother. She needs to relax and let my aunt do what she wants. She doesn't have that many Christmases left. Plus, it's not like this was a brand-new plan. Aunt Fran spent last Christmas with Ila too! My mother should've seen this coming.

     I don't blame my Aunt Fran for wanting to not spend Christmas with us. When my Mom gets stressed, she turns into a full-blown bitch. She turns rude and selfish and doesn't stop complaining about everything from rude, ungrateful family members to the Republican Party. She's a jerk, and when Aunt Fran comes with us to places, all my mother does is complain about what a burden Aunt Fran is. If Aunt Fran doesn't want to be in such a negative environment, I don't blame her one bit. I don't want to be in it either. 

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